i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
