I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
