He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
