At least make sure they are 18
Why
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
