I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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