I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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