I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
