ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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