Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
