You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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