We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
