somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You have to summon your inner elephant
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
