The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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