I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
