bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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