ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
