I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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