i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
