I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
