I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I smell stomach acid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
