JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
