During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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