My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hippo gnu deer
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
