I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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