Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
