so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
