Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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