apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
