Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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