WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
