In the future we'll all be gay
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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