Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
