Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
