My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
