somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
