so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
