i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
