How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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