You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
