after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
