Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
