He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
