Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
