I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
