He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
