It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
