i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
