i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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