problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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