I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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