i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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