Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
